The unfinished desire

The silent pages of my most discreet, tender, and ignominious  thoughts have now become a commerce of exchange and mockery.
My mind flows with the same amount of traffic in this humbling moment as it weaves in and out of tapering vision and tears.
The impression I laid down in earlier post was quickly gathered up by many and  woven into something beyond recognition. 
It was an ugly mass of twine to some and to others a divine tapestry. 

My response to this held the same ambiguous flavor to it. 
I tried to choose the latter assessment, but, my heart did not. 

It was just months ago,  that I was the faint outline of a painting waiting to be filled with substance and color. I was a novel unwritten, an inept amateur seeking a muse. 
I sought to woo, dance, and court with those who came to mingle. 
I envisioned an empty room that would be filled with lavish ornament, where only a few would turn into a lustrous glow for me to see.

I felt I had been robbed of an opportunity to seek and cultivate a desire when a sudden gust of wind blew through the embellished parlor I sat down in to rest. All I could see was the enticing image before me. 

I wasn't certain this visitant that brushed right through me was even tangible. I reached into the vacant, gelid, air, grasping at a forgotten dream, a pastime of composing love letters and song with the utmost of care. A chance to entice, tease, entangle, and harmonize. I knew though that my melody would go unheard on this apparition that glided freely through the air. It needed to breathe constant fresh air. 
I, too, reeked of staleness when I stood still.  

Months have gone by now and my movement is much more fluent.
Those lingering thoughts of desire have instead become my muse. 
Many understand how difficult it was for me to express my sentiment in recent post, while others mock my juvenile prose, unable to discern what it means to adore or be disabled. 

When the winds have died down and the fire mellows, I will still be here because the best fantasy is the reality we carve before us.