Top ten reason falling in love again in my twilight years would suck.

Reason 1. 
Having to reveal to your new love that you have just wet your panties but, you don't know which kind of wet it is. 

Reason 2. Needing to choose places to have your first date that do not include, foods that cause flatulence or your teeth to come out, places in which you cannot return to a standing position without the help of a paramedic, and items that would kill the mood if you can't find your reading glasses in time to read and follow the directions.

Reason 3. Knowing the butterflies in your stomach could also be a gallbladder attack. 

Reason 4. Barely being able to get through the first line of the love song you wrote without stopping and staring blankly at the ceiling because you forgot the lyrics.....again.

Reason 5. Having to explain why you need to wear a mouth guard at night that makes you look like Bucky The Beaver and could cause bodily harm to your partner's penis. 

Reason 6. Needing to carry a purse the size of a suitcase to hold heavy artillery for protection, a box of disposable underwear, six pairs of reading glasses, 2 pairs of support hoses, five bottles of prescription pills, and a smartphone the size of a small island.

Reason 7. Having a hot flash while having dinner with his family and requesting the waiter to bring out a portable fan to set on the table in front of you or moving the party into the walk- in freezer.

Reason 8. While getting ready for a date, mistakenly grab the Scrubbing Bubbles, foaming bleach spray, instead of the High Beams color thickener. 


Reason 9. Falling asleep while watching the 3D movie you just spent 31 dollars on, then drooling into the 10 dollar popcorn.

Reason 10. Having my screams and moans of Ecstasy mistaken for the cat crying out for it's supper.   

Despite all of this, next time I may write the top ten reason why falling in love again and again would be marvelous because the heart needs the fresh air and exercise! Ha!