I lost my reality.
 Lights flashed as my mind quantum leaped through time, adding dimension after dimension until I no longer knew who or where I was. I babbled and begged and begin repeating incoherent sentences. 
I lost consciousness and when I awoke I saw people that only lived in my dreams. I didn't know what day it was so I guessed when the doctor asked. I got it wrong by one day. 
I shook and shivered and my muscles tensed up into tight knots.
 I threw up everything I ate that day and could feel the emptiness inside going cold. 
Machines hummed while wires and cords draped across my frigid, trembling body.
I begged once more for someone to please help me, but they just stood and stared. 
I begin to cry thinking I would die soon and I was alone in that, no one was coming with me. I never felt so alone.    Now you know what happened. 
Soon I will be back.... I hope. 
 #accidentalDO

I shall return with more chills and thrills after my recovery!

My, how the Internet has changed things

          Surviving The Changes of Promotions
                            ( And learning to live without hugs)


I have been doing blogging and promotion for Independent films and actors for awhile now. 
I started as a hostess for celebrity events clear back when I was thirteen, complete with my "braceface", Farrah flip, and Dittos,    (Anyone under 40 will not know what I am talking about..heh). 

With my eager to please attitude and big smile, I jumped right in the the hobnob and glamour of movie stars and TV personalities,  and, since I was on the local and national ski team for this celebrity destination resort, Big Bear, I fell into work on the Pro races as well. I often moonlighted as the world's worst gate keeper. I could have been the  poster child for, " You only had one job" because all I wanted to do was go around and hug everyone! Ha!

I love people! What can I say? Well, okay, so I loved the guys especially~Ha! And, I'm a hugger which is why many people are drawn towards me....and many equally trying to make an "exit stage left" when they see me coming! Ha!
Back in the 70's I could talk your shorts off....or at least one shoe.

                                   Big Bear ski team

 We loved the 70's, didn't we baby?! 
We may have wanted to rethink the white dude afro though. 
(  By the way,that is Ty Warren, an executive producer of Paramount, and Legendary Pictures, above me in the blue and white. He is very glad he did not have an afro at that time! Ha!)

Okay, so now everyone knows I am the hugging promoter, so you have been warned! Ha!

Fast forward to today. 
With today's Internet, word about an actor, event, or film can spread faster than wildfire, which is amazing compared to the old school world of promotions I lived in.
But, have we lost some things? Well, I certainly don't get as many hugs in these days. And I often feel isolated.
But, because of my hearing loss the Internet has been a godsend!
I have learned to fall in love all over again in the virtual world. Somehow energy and personality still come flooding in all my senses telling me who are the real connections and who are just drifting through.
There are days I become so frustrated I can't hold someone or be held, but every kind word resonates and vibrates through my soul.
I feel the power of love, the pride of a project, the joy of a journey!
I also feel the sorrow of a loss and the anger of a betrayal.
I feel it all, perhaps even deeper than before.

                                         Santa Monica Beach

Thanks for stopping by folks. I would hug you if I could! 

              ONE MAN'S SPECULATION COMES ALIVE!
               
        MARK REDFIELD'S, THE DEATH of POE!

 From the Poe expert himself, Mark Redfield, along with his ultra fine East Coast cast, comes, "The Death of Poe," a precise, finely tuned, surreal, movie about the last few days before the great writer's death. 
If you enjoy intelligent and imaginative theory,  shadowy sets,
art house satisfaction, refreshing storytelling, and Poe, Poe, Poe, then, then set an evening aside for this rare pleasure, as I did one night.
" The Death of Poe" is now available to download for 3.99 on Vimeo or a mere .99 cents to rent!  Follow this link to great entertainment from the Poe Forevermore Tales of Mystery and Imagination, glossy, ad free magazine!  
http://www.poeforevermore.com/the-death-of-poe.html

                               Mark Redfield as Poe 

                    The beautiful Jennifer Rouse as Mrs. Moran   

                  
                        Kevin Shinnick as Dr. Moran

                                 THE DEATH of POE
    
 In Sept. of 1849, Poe was making his way back home to NY,  from Virginia, but for some reason never made it and was found 
on the streets of Baltimore in very bad shape indeed!
                    What do you think happened?

     This haunting movie certainly makes one wonder!

Also, while I have your attention, let's take a look at some of Mark's other great projects!!

Mark with the great John Astin! Together they did the audio delight of one of my favorites, "The Cask of Amontillado!"
And, look at that fun artwork in the center of them! That is also Mark's!     
Check out his https://www.etsy.com/shop/markredfield?ref=l2-shopheader-name

Here are some of my favorites over the years!

       Mark is heart and soul, that's what I like about him. He is  passionate, creative, and honest, almost to a fault..but, hey, he is  the real deal, no question about it! These traits show in his work!
      Mark experienced an unexpected arson fire in his studio, and it would be great if any of you could donate a dollar or two to help him stay afloat.       Help support a living artist!!

http://www.poeforevermore.com/news-11-18-14-redfield-studio-fire.html

          More soon good folks! Thanks for stopping by!!

                     

   The other Civil War: Examining "The Retrieval"                             (and more)

Okay, this is what you get for having a woman write about the Civil war ~ "Ha!" But, there were some serious bearded hotties in it!
It was back when men were men with their take charge manly, fuzzy faces and grand uniforms. They knew how to ride a horse, draw a sword, fire a gun, and load their canons! 
As a little girl, I spent hours pawing over my Daddy's Civil War books, fascinated over how brother could go against brother, disgust over the bodies that littered the battlefields , and lust over the slender and bearded images. 
In 1864,  panty wetter number one, Grant, was appointed Commander-in- Chief of the Union armies.

Some silly willies believed a prominent New York newspaper claiming that lofty, lustful, Lincoln had issued a draft of 400,000 more soldiers, ( Yeah, they tried to mess with our minds back then too!) 

And, my personal favorite, ultra hot, "Burning Sherman" sets Atlanta on fire and then heads for sizzling Savannah.   

But, setting aside my wicked and inappropriate thoughts,  there were other strong, proud, men of the civil war. 
By March of 1865, the Confederate States of America agreed to use ( and I use all these words loosely) African American "soldiers" for labor, but allowing them firearms was a subject of great debate.

In total, both free and runaway slaves "joined" the fight and by the end of the war nearly 180,000 had entered the bloody war.

But, backing up a year, back to 1864, before the admittance of African Americans, a certain illuminating movie, called The Retrieval made me realize just what a struggle it was for these courageous men. The story follows a handsome young man, just thirteen years of age, as he comes to realize he must become his own man and make decisions that he can live with for the rest of his life. Under the guidance of two men trapped in their own strife and duties during a terrible war, one man, Marcus, ( Played beautifully by Keston John), who is guided more by his fear and ego, and the other man, Nate, (the handsome, Tishuan Scott),  with his strength and pride, young Will, ( Played by Ashton Saunders), must decide what is right, even if he is not certain how the outcome will seal his own fate.

It is a stirring and poetic movie, often in color all too real, and moving at a pace that seems natural and believable. 
The most tense parts were centered around the ruthless bounty hunter, named Burrell, ( Played by the arousing and intense, Bill Oberst jr.), who quickly wraps around your throat causing swirls of panic inside, and feeling the intimidation of what it meant to be  even a "freed" slave. 

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lQOoDhuND90

As a Civil War fan, I enjoyed the movie with it's engrossing story, stirring soundtrack, and still moments. 
If you have time, you may want to take a peek as it is streaming on Netflix right now...but,please, don't take too long, as Netflix has been known to pull the plug on things. I don't think this will be the case with The Retrieval though as it is very popular with folks!

Oh, speaking of the wonderful, Bill Oberst Jr., he can also be seen as Sherman on The History Channel here:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=C6a6-uro6IQ 

Well, folks, you have managed to survive more of my hysteria~ Ha!
Grab some popcorn, get comfortable, and watch a wonderful movie, like, The Retrieval, and be thankful none of these bearded fellows is shooting off their canon in your front door! (I didn't mean that the way it sounded~~~ Ha!) 

So many things on my mind tonight........like this.......

And this..........

Time for a Pinterest board!


By the way folks this is another hint to yesterday's question!
     
 Who is this?! 

News today

Another suicide? 
Oh, my heart goes out to the family of Sawyer Sweeten of Everyone Loves Raymond fame. He was just weeks away from his 20th birthday!
 It is so sad to know that such a young life could have that many demons inside already! 
                                  

The family asks that whoever is in your life at this moment, whether, it be sister, brother, spouse, friend, or pet, take a moment to cherish them and tell them they are loved!

I agree as there is nothing sweeter to hear and only takes a moment of our time to say!   "I love you!!"


The other news going around, of course, is the 99 seat plan which will ask the intimate theatre to pay the 9 dollar minimum wage to all actors, thus, making it darn near impossible for most of them to survive.
That being said, you might want to go ahead and get that ticket for Jim Beaver's warm and witty play, Verdigris, before it is too late!
 It only goes until the end of this week, folks!

        http://theatrewest.org/onstage/verdigris/                      

                                 LOVE ME SOME JIM!
                           

And, last, if you can tell me who this cutie pie is, I will give you a 1,000 dollars!  "hee..hee"

                

                 A hint? He is the hunk of horror!

See you all soon and don't forget to turn to the person next to you and show them some love! I know I'm loving YOU!

Dijon, my love

I don't know if I can write tonight.

 My joy, my precious beauty of fifteen years is sick once again.
The cancer has haunted poor Dijon for almost four years now, returning again in the form of tumors and vile stomach sickness. She goes through long periods of great energy and appetite though, so the idea of dismissing her has been unthinkable.

The doctor is quite amazed that she is still around and puzzled that the medicinal mushrooms I have been giving her do seem to indeed work...at least for awhile.

It is midnight now and Dijon's heart seems to be giving out. She has had a murmur for some time and treated accordingly, but, with her age and cancer, there is little to be done at this time, except keep her pain free and surrounded with all the love she can get.